Dear forever, love now
by crack-the-glowsticks
Summary: Kurt comes home to find a letter, but not one he was ever expecting.


_Dear Kurt,_

_Your eyes were greener than the grass we sat on when I told you that I loved you that first time. And they sparkled brighter than all of the stars in heaven as we fell asleep on the roof. Your smile was more dazzling than a hundred thousand suns, and brighter than any explosion of the universe. There's something in the way your cheeks crinkled with the remain of a happy memory, that made me smile more than I could ever dream of._

_Your dreams were the most vivid, most beautiful things in the world. And I would never, could never tire of hearing about the colours that flooded the caverns of your mind in between your waking hours._

_I'll never forget the way you fit so perfectly in my arms as we lay huddled under blankets on nights colder than any Antarctic December, or the way your voice echoed whispers of the wind as you told me sweet nothings and made me forget that there was a world outside that door. And your lips always felt so perfect against mine, and I never even knew it was possible to fall more and more in love with every moment of junction between your cherry red lips and my own. Or the way your hand fit so perfectly in mine as we walked down the streets, without a care of what they thought, or even what they said. Because you were my Kurt, and I was your Blaine, and nobody could touch us, or the way we love each other so much more than anyone could dream._

_I like the way you would always tell me your secrets. Or when you'd cry in my arms when nothing was going right and all you wanted was for someone to take away that pain. And I loved being that person, it was my favourite thing to do. Because you're my favourite person in the whole wide world, and I don't ever want you to forget that._

_I love the way your eyes lit up when you found out good news, and even the way you frowned when the phone call wasn't what you were expecting. And I liked kissing away all the pain, and making you feel alive, with me, because you needed a reminder that there's always happiness somewhere in the world._

_And I'll never forget that night you told me that you loved me. As you traced circles on my hands and stared up at the sky above us with a glass of wine the same colour as your lips. And I knew you meant it, and I know you always will. And I'm sorry that it has to be like this._

_But I'm sick, Kurt, and I'm sorry you didn't know before._

_But I'm dying, Kurt, and the doctors can't make it go away._

_And I don't want you to be sad for me, because seeing you sad is the one thing I could never stand. Because the way your face falls with the weight of your tears is something I simply cannot bear, and I know that this will make the tears flow for a while. But I know that someone's going to come along, and wipe them away, and show you that you can still be loved, after I'm gone._

_I want you to know Kurt, that I've loved you from the minute we locked eyes. I loved you when we made love the first time, and when I proposed. I loved you when you met my parents and when we looked after that child. I loved you when we journeyed to Paris and reminisced childhood innocence in Disney World. I loved you when I told you I hated you, and I loved you more when I told you I loved you more than life itself in between kisses in the middle of the night._

_But now I have to go, and I'm sorry you didn't ever get to know till now. Because you were my happy place, Kurt, and I didn't want that tainted by my dying. Which was selfish of me, and it will make everything so much worse for you, and even when I'm gone, I'll always regret leaving you in the dark for so long, until it was too late. _

_You're my forever Kurt, but don't let me be yours._

_I will love you, until the edge of eternity._

_And I'm sorry._

_Please forgive me and don't you ever give up hope. Don't leave your heart to die, Kurt, please keep it alive, for me - my dying wish._

_My love, forever and a day, always._

_Your Blaine._


End file.
